


Reluctant Heroes

by tawander



Category: BrightWin RPF, เพราะเราคู่กัน | 2gether: The Series (Thailand TV) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BrightWin- Freeform, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Doctor! Win, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Promise, Soldier! Bright, Trauma, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26623717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tawander/pseuds/tawander
Summary: Bright never considered himself to be brave yet there he was, commanding his panicked troops to gather their wits and assume formation. He eyed his fellow soldiers with a scrutinizing gaze and as he did so, he noticed some of them grab their guns with shaking hands and locked jaws. A telltale sign of fear and trepidation. Bright sighed an felt the cold metal of his necklace, a gift from his beloved, and a reminder of what awaits him on the other side. He will go home safe, he tells himself. He has to.Win felt cold sweat on his back. Stream after stream of soldiers went inside the makeshift tent with wound of varying sizes on them. He still hasn't finished treating the one in front of him when another one bursts in wound with a wound on his stomach and bleeding out. Win eyed the inside of the tent and he is suddenly reminded of the desperate reality in front of him, death is nearby and its claws are ready to grab lives. He can only hope his beloved return to his arms safely. He has to.
Relationships: Bright Vachirawit Chivaaree/Win Metawin Opas-iamkajorn
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Reluctant Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bright and Win made a promise. Both are determined to keep it.

The room blistered with summer heat yet the two kids inside of it carried on their merry ways as if nothing in the world could stop them. The older of the two rambled on and on about how he wanted to follow his father's footsteps. Saying that he, too, would become a soldier and serve his country. The younger watched with rapt attention, eyes sparkling as he listened to the older.

"Imagine that, Win! Lieutenant Colonel Chivaaree! I would be the best leader, my soldiers would look at me with respect and we would blaze the battlegrounds! Watch me, Win! I will be the best soldier you've ever seen!", he said as he positioned himself like he was in the middle of fighting a war. Belly on the ground, arms, and elbows extended.

"Hmm, being a soldier sounds like too much work Bright" Win complained while fiddling with his hands. "I would rather be helping people recover, you know? Like, Mom!"

At the mention of his mother, Win stood up and paced the room. "Yeah, Mom always said that when people get injured she would patch them up and they would recover in no time! Maybe I can do that! You could be a soldier and I would be a doctor! I will heal all your wounds while you keep me and the country safe. Isn't that a great idea Bright?"

"Great! That sounds like a plan Win!" Bright looked at the younger peeking at him through hooded eyes, he could feel the excitement coming from Win. He would be lying if he said he wasn't excited too, his best friend and partner in crime supports his dreams and even wants them to achieve it together!

Their wild imaginations carried them off to distant lands where Bright was a soldier holding the flag of their country high and proud and Win was doctor saving lives left and right. The smiles on their faces were enough to show the joy both kids felt at that very moment. They were happy and that was enough.

The fun was cut short when they heard someone scream from downstairs, "Bright! Get down, we're going home."

"Just a sec Pa!" Bright spun around and faced Win as he took the younger's hands and looked him in the eye.

"This is a promise Win, I'll become a soldier and protect you, as we agreed."

"Pfft, I don't need to be protected, Bright. I can handle myself!" Win said as he flexed his non-existent arm muscles

"Yeah yeah whatever you say, Bunny."

At the release of those words, Bright ruffled Win's hair and finally left. When Win was sure Bright was out of their house, he rushed to the window and peeked through. There, he saw Bright looking at his room, and coincidentally their eyes met. Bright flashed him a toothy grin and gave him a peace sign just before his father pulled him into the car.  
Win smiled to himself and muttered in a low voice, "I promise you too Bright, I'll become a doctor and save lives"

\----------

The heat in the room was suffocating as Bright struggled to put on his military uniform. He was just drafted into the military and the training sessions were harsh. Constant physical exertion was taking its toll on his body in the form of aches and the heat just adds to his suffering.

He slaps his cheeks lightly and gives himself a little pep talk, “You wanted this, Bright. A little suffering is nothing. Man up and deal with it.”

That seemed to do the trick as he suddenly felt energized. As soon as he finished putting on his uniform, he dashed outside and found his comrades already in a neat formation. He soon found his giant of a friend, Earth Pirapat. Bright rushed to take his place beside his friend and stood at attention.

“You’re lucky, Vachirawit. You arrived just before the commander.” Earth started and looked at his friend who was sweating.

“Oh shut up, Pirapat. You should know how much I struggle to put in this damn uniform. Buttons and straps will be the death of me.”

“Whatever.“

Bright looked at his friend to find the latter was rolling his eyes. This irritated him and in the spur of the moment decided to hit his friend in the sides with an elbow.  
“Hey! Bright what gives?!”

“Nothing, you were just acting annoying” Bright shrugged his shoulders and looked straight ahead, feigning innocence. Earth just shook his head at his friends' antics and followed suit. Both of them now standing at attention while waiting for the commander to give them the drills designated for today.

When they finished, their bodies were overheating from too many physical labors. Sweat oozed out of their pores in waves and the smell of testosterone was highly evident. As streams of cadets made their way to the shower room, Bright decided it would be better to wait for the crowd to thin down before taking a shower.

He plopped down on the field and lifted his head only to see the prettiest skies he has ever seen. It was a mixture of orange, yellow, pink, and purple. It looked like someone painted bruises into the sky and let the golden glow of sunset bleed colors. Lying on his back, he raised his hands against the sky, and suddenly he is reminded of a boy and the promises both of them made to each other.

His musings were cut short when Earth kicked his sides, probably revenge for earlier. “Vachirawit wake up and take a shower, you smell like shit”

“I wasn’t asleep Pirapat, just thinking”

“Right. Let's pretend I believe so you can go and take that damn shower.”

As both men made their way towards the showers, the setting sun finally disappeared beyond the horizon and a silver moon took its place in the heavens.

In the shower, Bright stood just below the showerhead as he closed his eyes and turned it on. The warm water contrasted with the cold metal of his necklace. He smiled when he remembered how he got the necklace, or more specifically, how he received it.

It was a hot day much like this one, Bright figured it would be a good day to have ice cream. He called his best friend, Win, and told him about his plan for the day. To his delight, Win immediately agreed- saying that he, too, was craving for his favorite vanilla ice cream from the store just down the corner. Bright cringed at the thought of eating plain old vanilla-flavored ice cream, thinking it was too basic for his tastes. He much preferred having choc-mint, even if Win always criticized him for eating such a "disgusting" flavor.

Bright picked Win up from his house, just a few steps away from Bright's own. When he arrived at Win's house, the latter was already waiting by the front while tapping away at his phone. Bright screamed to get Win's attention, "Bunny! Stop scrolling through twitter and come already!",Win rolled his eyes and stashed his phone away.

"I already told you Bright, stop calling me that! We're not kids anymore" He pouted and complained in front of the older.

"Whatever you say, Bunny"

"Bright!"

"Fine fine, I was just teasing Win"

Win could still hear the teasing tone in Bright's voice and something else he can't quite pinpoint. He simply ignored it and proceeded to grab the older's hand to drag him towards their destination.

When they arrived at the ice cream parlor, the two immediately settled into the usual routine that consists of Win finding a seat for the both of them and Bright ordering their go-to flavors. After a few minutes of waiting, Bright arrived carrying with him two large cups of ice cream with an infuriating grin pasted on his face.

"Here ya go Bunny, my treat"

Win didn't move an inch and just glared at the man in front of him.

Bright scoffed and raised his eyebrows at the little show Win was doing. "What? You don't want it? I mean, it's free"

"You're insufferable, you know that right?"

"I know. You still love me though."

"A weakness, really"

"Whatever, Bunny just eat your free ice cream"

"I fucking hate you"

"No, you don't"

Both of them spent the whole day eating ice cream, sharing stories, and just enjoying each other’s company. When night arrived, they decided to call it a day and go home.  
The way home was filled with comfortable silence. Yet this silence was broken when Win suddenly yelled, "AH! I almost forgot! Bright, here"

"What?" Bright, whose face was scrunched in confusion, turned to look at Win. What he saw made his chest warm-up and a smile threatened to burst through his face. In front of him was Win holding out his hands with a faint blush on his face. Win held in his hand a little beige box. "Are you proposing to me, Bunny?"

"What? No? Just open it Bright" Win managed to say despite the nervousness he felt. When Bright opened the box, the older's face softened.

"I saw this on the way home from school yesterday. It immediately reminded me of you and your stupid dreams. I know we made a promise when we were kids but I didn't expect you were being serious. Knowing you, you probably wouldn't change your mind even if I scream near your ear. So yeah, I bought this to remind you that no matter how far away you are, you will always have me waiting for you."

Inside the box was a dog tag necklace, the words "brave soul, return safely" were engraved on the front. "I- I don't know what to say. Thank you, Bunny, so much"

"Anything for you, Sol"

Bright smiled when he heard the old childhood nickname.

When Bright felt the water go cold, he was let out of his reverie. Finishing up his shower, he went out, grabbed a towel, and dressed for sleep. When he arrived on the bunk bed assigned for him, he lied down immediately and soon after fell to sleep. It was a long day after all and it was only going to get harder from here.

\----------

It had been a busy day in med school, Win's professor practically worked their brains into overdrive. Discussing a new topic (types of traumatic wounds and how to administer first aid to each corresponding type), and immediately giving a test about what they discussed. Furthermore, this heartless professor of theirs, decided it would be great to give his already suffering students homework (a three-page essay) due the day after tomorrow. The moment Win went out of that God-forsaken room, he sincerely wanted to scream and curse out that man.

"Mix, I swear to God, one of these I will smack the asshole and give him a taste of his own medicine," Win said as he fumed and vented to his best friend in med school, Mix Sahaphap.

"Not so loud you idiot! Who knows if that man has ears on his back, I can't afford to fail this subject Win"  
'"You're just chicken shit, Mix"

"Well that sucks, this chicken shit even wanted to treat you to dinner"

"Oh um, sorry? hehe?" Win pouted and wrapped his arms over the shorter man. "You know you're my bestest and most handsome friend right? I would do anything for you, Mix Sahaphap"

"Shut it, Win. You can't get that free dinner by just acting cute"

Indignant, Win ran ahead of Mix and faced the boy. Mix raised his eyebrows threateningly at the other, curious about what antic the boy was up to this time. He saw the taller man take a deep, suddenly he has an idea of what was going to happen and he didn't like it one bit.

"MIX SAHAPHAP IS MY BESTEST AND MOST HANDSOME FRIEND! I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM!"

Mix would be lying if he said he was surprised at his best friend's antics. It wasn't the first time Win did something stupid and loud. Sometimes he wonders how such a huge man could hold such childishness within him. "Stop it Win, you're embarrassing"

"Hehe, soooo about that dinner?"

"Yeah sure whatever"

"Yes!"

"Where to, big guy?"

"wow, free dinner and I get to choose where? That's suspicious, is there some kind of catch here? be honest"

Mix shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to walk.

After decades spent on deciding where to eat, they finally settled on a Korean barbeque just beyond the corner of their school. The place wasn't that crowded since it was a weekday and most students on the campus were busy with whatever their professors gave them. As soon as both men settled in and managed to cook the beef, Win immediately started to complain "That good for nothing baldie really gets on my nerves. The audacity of him giving a test immediately after discussing a new topic! I mean, the discussion wasn't even that good. He was just reading the PowerPoint presentation! And that damn assignment, jeez who gives a three-page essay and makes the deadline the day after tomorrow? He's not the only subject we have to deal with. Ugh"

"Jesus, chill Win. That tteokbokki doesn't stand a chance. You're practically murdering it."

"Deal with it"

Mix can only sigh and shake his head. It's not that Win isn't gifted academically, it's just that he is lazy. Extremely so. It came as a shock really when they first met, Mix thought Win was as studious and hardworking as they get. With an air of indifference, it was a miracle they became friends. It took them the majority of their first year in med school and vanilla ice cream to finally be comfortable with each other's presence.

Win was an entirely new person when he got comfortable with you. Gone was the silent and indifferent version of himself. What replaced it was a childish and energetic Win that had the tendency to pout when things don't go the way he intended it too. Mix often wondered how such a huge and lazy man was an achiever, he just chalked it up to Win’s natural intelligence.

“Hey Mix, remember Bright?”

“The other best friend whom you had a crush on?”

“The other best friend, yes.”

“So you do have a crush on him!”

“Yeah whatever. You know too much”

“What about him?”

“Well, he told me he’s coming home this weekend.”

“Coming home? Where did he go?”

“Yeah about that aha”

“What?”

“He finished boot camp and they were given a grace period. Something about saying goodbye to family and friends”

“Wait, boot camp? As in military boot camp?”

Win only nodded as he ate his beef.

“Is he crazy? We’re on the verge of war. Enlisting for the military isn’t really the best idea as of the moment. He could die for fucks sake”

Win raised a finger while chewing on the beef he just fed himself, a signal to wait until he swallowed the food in his mouth. “Trust me, I spent years convincing him to abandon his dreams but he’s so stubborn jeez”

“Sounds like someone I know”

“Really? Who?”

Mix stared at his friend and in a deadpan voice said, “You”

“What the- rUDE?”

Win threw a used napkin at Mix.

“Why’d you tell me this anyway?”

“Well, Bright said he’d be bringing along a friend and I kinda hoped you would help me tour them around. Also, I planned a little surprise so I want your help.”  
“What’s in it for me?”

“Um, I’ll do your homework for today?”

“Make it for the whole week”

“What? No! That's too much. 3 days?”

“Deal”

\------------

Dark heavy clouds covered the vast expanse of sky above Bright's head. The weather was gloomy, a stark contrast to the excitement Bright felt within. That day was the last day of their boot camp and then they would finally be able to go home.

Home. That word always bothered Bright, he could never pinpoint this feeling he gets when he hears it and he never understood why a certain buck-toothed boy comes to mind. He just shook his head and threw away the thoughts as he finished up his push-ups.

As soon as he got to 100, Bright immediately sat up. By his side was Earth, already finished with his own set of drills and just waiting for Bright to finish.  
Earth noticed his friend sitting up and figured Bright should be done with his drills. Patting Bright in the back, he said "Come on Vachirawit, let's shower so we can get the hell out of here."

"Yeah yeah whatever you say Pirapat"

Earth lent his hand for Bright to grab, helping the other stand.

In the private quarters, they gathered their belongings in preparation for going home. Bright gathered his plain white shirt and other pieces of clothing then jammed them into his duffel bag. He didn't really care if it got crumpled or anything, he was going home anyway.

When his belongings were packed, he went out to meet Earth who was waiting for him outside the quarters. Duffel bag filled to the brim and hung on his wide shoulders. "Hurry up Vachirawit, I can’t wait to see that hometown of yours."

"Yeah sure, just a sec. Let me tie my shoe first" Bright said as he bent down to tie his shoe. It was one of the things Win taught him. He even remembers the little song the buck-toothed boy taught him, 𝘉𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘉𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘺 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦. 𝘊𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘴-𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘦, 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘉𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘫𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦, 𝘗𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘭𝘥. Bright laughed at the childish song when Win first sang it for him as the younger demonstrated how to properly tie a shoe. He also remembers the little pout Win made when he saw him laughing at the song. Saying something about how it was something his mother taught him.

"-out the other side beautiful and bold" Bright sang and when he finished- his laces were already tied. He stood and ran towards his friend. Putting his arms over Earth's shoulders, he gave his friend a grin and said, "You ready Pirapat?"

"Always Vachirawit"

The ride home was filled with silence. Both men were riding a cab with Earth in the front seat and Bright in the back. An unknown song played through the stereo and the driver was too focused on driving to strike up a conversation with the two men.

In the front seat, Earth was leaning on the window, sound asleep. It amazed Bright how the other can sleep even with the shaky ride. He figured it was due to the song currently playing. It had a soft slow beat, perfect to sleep to.

Despite the music, Bright had a hard time falling asleep. He was jittery with excitement and the text he received a few seconds ago did nothing to ease him. It was Win. Win texted Bright to let him know that he and his friend were already waiting for the both of them in that one ice cream shop they used to frequent as kids.

Bright wonders how Win looks right now. It had been a while since they both saw each other. He would be lying when he says he didn’t miss the little smiles and giggles the boy gave every time he was up to no good.

Passing by a familiar meadow, Bright figured they were close. Up until now, the gloomy skies hadn’t lightened up and heavy gray clouds still blotted the skies but streaks of sunlight did peak through the thick blanket of fluff every now and then. Bright saw a family of four having a picnic by the meadow, spread out beneath them was a red checkered blanket. A wave of nostalgia suddenly hit him and Bright was once again lost in his own sea of memories.

They were just 10 at that time. 3 years older after they made that promise and while they did indeed mature a little bit, the young boys’ heads were still filled to the brim of being heroes and dying like a martyr. Well, at least Bright’s head was.

Running around the vast meadows Bright turned to look at Win who was sitting down and trying to catch his breath. “Come on Win, it hasn’t even been that long since we started playing tag! You’re already that tired?”

“Soooll I’m tired,” Win said, pouting and crossing his arms. This little action had an obvious effect on Bright as he immediately went to the younger’s side and sat beside him. As Bright sat down he felt a sting on his hand. “Ow! what the?”

Win was quick to spring to action and check what caused such a reaction from Bright. “Show me where it hurts, Sol”

“It’s nothing Buns”

“Sol”

“Fine”

Win’s mom always told him to treat wounds as soon as possible to avoid infection. As he raised the older’s hand to inspect for possible wounds, he saw a small cut on Bright’s palm. Looking around the area Bright sat on, he saw a small piece of broken glass. Probably left behind by a drunkard that visited the meadow. “Oh no, I don’t have a band-aid with me. Let’s go back to where Mom and the others are- maybe Mom bought a band-aid with her”

“Win really, I’m fine”

“It might get infected Bright”

“Infected? what’s that mean?”

“Mom said it means that a wound gets worse and it will hurt too.”

“Oh”

“Exactly.” Win stood up and offered his hand to the other boy. “Let’s go?”

When they arrived, Win immediately ran and dragged Bright towards the group adults. “Mom do you have a band-aid?” Win said as he once again tried to catch his breath.  
“Calm down Win. What’s wrong dear?”

“Bright had a cut. He accidentally leaned on a broken piece of glass”

“Well, that’s unfortunate. Luckily I have a band-aid here with me” Win’s mom said with a smile

Bright was still pensive. He wouldn’t want his wound to get worse and hurt more. So he asked, “Does it mean it won’t get infected anymore?”  
“Well, we’re not sure about that. Win, did you wash Bright’s wound?”

“um was I supposed to do that?”

Win’s mother could only sigh at the forgetfulness of her son. “Yes Win, you were supposed to do that,” she said as she wrapped the band-aid around Bright’s wound.

Bright, scared of a possible infection asked, “What now?”

Win’s mother smiled and put her pointer finger on her chin, miming a person who is deep in thought. “Hmm, maybe a kiss will do”

Bright was confused at the suggestion, “A kiss? What’s that got to do with-“

His question was cut short when Win suddenly said, “I’ll do it!” and grabbed the other boy’s hand. “I’ll do it, it was my fault anyway since I forgot to wash your wounds.”  
Before Bright could say anything in protest, he felt a soft kiss on his palm. It reminded Bright of a butterfly that once landed on him and he had to stay very still so it won’t leave. Both were events that he didn’t want to end.

In the blink of an eye, Win raised his head and gave Bright a dazzling smile. “There! All better!”

The cab skidded to a stop and Bright suddenly woke up. Earth looked at his friend who was jolted awake by the sudden motioned and laughed. “Finally awake huh sleeping beauty?”

“Fuck you, last I checked you were leaning on the window and drooling”

“I do not drool in my sleep Vachirawit”

“Do too”

“Whatever, are we near yet?”

“Yeah just around the corner”

The cab driver turned right and there they were. Harry’s Ice Cream Parlor. The same ice cream parlor that Win and Bright frequented over the years. Bright’s heartbeat sped up at the sight of it. Finally, he thought.

Earth paid the fare, saying that it’s the least he could do since Bright was planning to tour him around. Grabbing their duffel bags in the luggage compartment, both men walked towards the establishment and entered. “Wow” both of them said at the same time but for different reasons.

Earth was admiring the interior of the place. It was as if they were thrown back in time with the retro vibes the inside was giving out. Bright, on the other hand, was admiring the beauty of a person in the far corner. The person was sitting right beside the window, faint sunlight illuminating his face. They threw their head laughing like a little kid and once the person calmed down, the laugh turned into a gentle familiar smile. Pearly white teeth paired with reddish lips. The same milky skin and soft-spoken voice.

Bright and the person made eye contact.

“Bright!”

“Win!”

———————

Win was laughing at something Mix said when Bright entered through the door. It was as if time stopped when he saw him. Bright definitely looked better than before. Muscles in places that used to be just skin and bones were present and a darker skin tone that made him look golden in the right lighting, probably from all the drills they did in boot camp. Win also noticed how Bright’s hair was cut short. He can’t help but think that longer hair suits the man better.

When Win’s wandering eyes finally landed on Bright’s face, he was surprised to see him already staring. Their eyes met and Win couldn’t hold back his smile.

“Bright!”

“Win!”

Bright practically ran towards where Win was seated. Win stood up and opened his arms, knowing where this was going. As soon as Bright was near enough- he engulfed Win in a bear hug.

“I missed you so much Buns”

“Me too Bright, Me too”

Win noticed the nickname Bright used. He figured he could let it slide this time.

The moment their bodies collided, Win felt at home. When they were kids, Bright had always been affectionate. Hugs and nicknames had been their thing but as time progressed Win grew out of that. He stopped calling Bright that stupid nickname he thought up on a whim and also tried to avoid hugging too much, figured it would be better. Both for him and his feelings.

The hug they just shared ruined all walls Win had built over the course of the years. He admits that he has always had a soft spot for Bright. He can never seem to deny the man and always give in to his requests, giving way to that dumb promise that Bright still tried to keep.  
Win admits that the promise was one of the factors that pushed Win to apply for Med school but with him now in his 3rd year and almost becoming a doctor, he found himself loving his current career path.

Win heard Mix cough and he was snapped back to reality. Bright and Win felt a little sheepish for making a scene so when they released each other from the tight hug they found that both of them had a faint blush of their faces. Mix attempted to ease the awkward air that now drifted among them by looking at Win and saying “So um, why don’t we all take a seat?”

Earth who was confused on the scene unfolding in front of said “Sure, Come on Vachirawit don’t just stand there”  
Bright took a seat beside Win and Earth beside Mix.

Suddenly realizing that Win hasn’t introduced his friend yet, Win clapped once and said “Bright, this is Mix my best friend in med school. Mix, this is Bright the childhood friend I told you about”

When Bright heard Win introduce this new boy as his best friend, he was irritated but he didn’t know why. He was about to protest when Mix suddenly spoke.

“Is he the other best friend”

Win nodded and ate a spoonful of vanilla ice cream.

“The one you had a-“

Mix didn’t get to finish when he felt someone kick him from below the table. Knowing it was Win, he looked at him with a taunting gaze and raised his eyebrows.  
Bright whose interest was piqued and irritation lost, asked Mix to continue “Had a what? Don’t just leave hanging like that”

Mix was about to continue when he felt another kick, this one stronger than the last. He looked at Win and saw the man smiling at him. At that moment, he knew he was doomed.

Win, on the other hand, tried to save himself “A promise! The one I had a promise with.” He said as he smiled at Mix and hoped the other got his message. Fucker won’t be able to copy from me anytime soon, Win thought as he sent his friend a death glare when he noticed Bright wasn’t looking at him but at Mix instead.

“So Bright, Who’s your friend?”

Bright, upon hearing the question, felt stupid. He actually forgot to introduce Earth. “This is Earth Pirapat, a friend I made in the military”  
“Finally, I thought you would never introduce me, Vachirawit.” Earth said as he laughed and extended his hand to Win “Heya Win! Nice to meet you!”. He then turned his head and did the same to Mix.

After the initial awkwardness cleared, the four people quickly hit it off with each other. They talked about anything and everything from how each of them met each other (Earth and Bright met on the first week of boot camp when Bright was on his knees trying to tie his shoelaces, Earth wasn't watching his steps so he tripped and fell on Bright. They've been great friends since then. Win and Mix, on the other hand, met in their first class. They weren't so close back then, Mix only got to break through Win's barriers when he gave him vanilla-flavored ice cream on the day of their intramurals) to their favorite ice cream flavors (Win and Bright's were Vanilla and Chocmint while Mix and Earth's were coffee crumble and strawberry respectively).

Time seemed to fly inside the establishment and before they knew it the previously gloomy skies cleared and the setting sun was in full view. It painted the sky with shades of pink, orange, and yellow. Bright was the first to notice this and he was shocked at how quickly time flew. He was the one who suggested that they call it a day and go home. Mix quickly agreed, saying he had to meet up with his mother. With that, Mix left while Win, Bright, and Earth walked towards Bright's old house (Earth would be sleeping over the entirety of their stay). At the door, Win tapped Bright's shoulder as a goodbye. "See you tomorrow Bright, Earth." Win looked at Earth and gave him a small smile, "It was great meeting you!"

"Same!" Earth nodded and waved at Win.

Bright smiled at the interaction of the two, he was relieved they got along well. He then turned to Win and said "See you tomorrow Buns! Take care on the way back"

"Bright my house is literally across yours and we live in a private village. Also, I told you to stop calling me that damned nickname! It's embarrassing!"

"Yeah sure whatever you say Bunny"

"Bright! I swear to-"

"Fine, take care Win" Bright said, putting emphasis on Win's name.

Win gave him a smile and proceeded to cross the street and entered his house.

As soon as Bright was sure Win was safe inside his house, he turned around and made his way toward his own house. Earth followed not too close behind. Bright was startled when Earth suddenly asked a weird question, "Hey Bright, are you sure you two are just friends?"

"Of course? What made you ask that?

"Well, you really don't look like friends. If I didn't know any better I would've thought you two were lovers"

"Lovers?"

"Yeah, I mean, from that hug when you saw him and the way you talk to each other"

"What do you mean"

"I don't know how to explain it but there's this something between you two, you know?"

"I think you're just tired Pirapat. How about we both get some rest? We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"You're probably right"

Bright led Earth to their guest room and helped him settle his things as well as give him a new set of pillowcases and blankets. As soon as he finished, Bright made his way to his own room and found that nothing had changed. Old polaroids of him and Win in their childhood and teenage years were hung around the wall. By his bedside was a picture of Bright, Win, Win's Mom, and Bright's now-deceased father. He grabbed the framed photo and stroked it, "I'm going to be a soldier soon Dad, I hope you're proud of me". Suddenly feeling drowsy, Bright changed out of his clothes and wore his pajamas.

As he lay in his bed, he can't help but think of the words Earth had said to him earlier. "Lovers huh?" Bright muttered as he slowly fell asleep. In his sleep, Bright dreamt of two kids running around a vast green meadow. Both were laughing loudly as if the problems of the world had nothing to do with them. The fairer of the two stopped running and plopped down the field to catch his breath, the other kid noticed this and walked toward him, "-sn’t even been that long since we started playing tag! You’re already that tired?”. The fair-skinned child only nodded his head and smiled. This had an obvious effect on him as he sat beside the kid. He gave him a smile and all was well.

\----------

It was a sunny day. The birds had just finished their morning song and small rays of light were peeking out from his window. The light of the sun hit Win’s face causing him to turn on his side and burrow into his bedsheets. Not a moment later, his alarms went off signaling the start of the day.

The first thing Win noticed when he woke up was the agonizing shrill sound of his alarm. The second thing he noticed were the voices downstairs. He heard a familiar voice talking to his own mother’s voice. The familiar voice said something Win can’t quite catch and he was curious who it was.

He was still in a sleepy haze when he decided to go down and prepare for the day. Win got out of his bed and didn’t even bother changing out of his pajamas. Stretching his arms to shake out the last remaining hints of his drowsiness, he went out of his room.

Going down the stairs, Win heard the voices getting louder. Before he could even make out what they were saying, he heard the voice of his mother calling him. Win made his way to where his mother usually stayed when entertaining guests, their kitchen. He always found it weird but it was just one of his mother’s quirks, along with playing the piano in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep- said it helps her calm down.

As he entered their kitchen, he was surprised to see Bright and Earth already drinking some orange juice. Probably given to them by his mother. Still, Win found it weird. Bright was never one to wake up early. Back in the day, Win would go to Bright’s house at 11 and somehow find the other still asleep. Maybe it’s one of the things he learned in boot camp- the military is big on punctuality and all that anyway, Win thought as he found his seat and ate the pancakes already prepared in front of him.

“Good morning Mom and thanks for this. Good morning to you, too Bright and Earth.”

“Morning Buns” “Morning Win”

Win rolled his eyes at the nickname but didn’t let it bother him. He figured it was too early for some playful banter and decided to silently eat his breakfast.

“Win dear?”

Win only muttered a hmm and didn’t raise his head. Too busy spreading butter on his pancakes.

“Didn’t you make plans today?”

“No? What makes you think that”

“Bright here said you would tour them around”

Win was startled causing him to choke on the piece of pancake he was chewing. Bright, who noticed this, laughed and offered Win his glass of orange juice. Win coughed and drank the juice given to him by Bright.

“Of course you forgot Buns”

“I didn’t. It just slipped my mind.”

Earth who was observing the two, tilted his head and said “huh? Isn’t that like the same thing?”

For the second time of the day, Win rolled his eyes. “Shut up Earth. You know too much”

As soon as Win finished eating his breakfast, he dashed out of the kitchen saying something about taking a bath and preparing for their day together.

His mother shook her head at her son while taking a sip of her coffee. “Forgive him you two, early mornings aren’t his thing,” she said as she looked at the two remaining boys who were clearly amused at Win.

“It’s fine ma, I kinda missed Win acting like that.”

“I'm sure he missed you too dear. I did. Anyways, I have to go run some errands, you two help yourself in the living room.”

“Take care Ma”

“You two too. Oh, and Bright?”

“Take care of Win for me”

“Always”

With that, Win’s mother left to sort out her errands. When Earth was sure that she was outside, he immediately faced Bright and raised his eyebrows “Ma? You call Win’s mother Ma”

“Yeah? She practically raised me when Dad died”

“Oh. I'm sorry I didn’t mean to pry”

“It's cool. It happened years ago anyway”

“You know, I'm still not convinced you and Win are just friends. There's something between you two and I can feel it.”

“Whatever Pirapat. But um, I did some thinking and well I realized something”

Earth just stared, waiting for his friend to continue but a few seconds already passed and the man in front of him was still silent. “Realized what? You can’t just drop something like that and keep me hanging Vachirawit. That’s like giving me blue balls”

“Ok first of all, Ew? Also, as I said, I did some thinking and I kind of realized that Win was always there for me you know? So um, maybe that is why I'm so comfortable around him. We know everything about each other and I guess he isn’t that hard to love. I mean I'm not stupid nor am I blind. I can see Win’s beauty and the charm he gives.

I guess I was just kind of used to his presence, you know? To the point that it never slipped my mind that maybe someday one of us would have to leave, not physically but you know what I mean. And honestly speaking, there wasn’t a day in boot camp that I didn’t think of him or the memories we shared.”

Earth sighed at the thought process of his friend, “Well, that was a lot to take in. Let me ask you again, do you still think you and Win are just friends?”

“Yeah-“

“Oh my God, you are incredibly stupid Vachirawit holy shit.”

“What? Let me finish, why don’t you? As I was saying, Yeah we’re friends but like it wouldn't be too bad if we became something more don’t you think? I mean, we’ve practically spent our childhood together, why not make it forever.”

Earth couldn’t help but laugh

“I guess you aren’t that stupid after all Vachirawit. Also, you’re disgusting you know that?”

“What the fuck? I just poured out my feelings and now you call me disgusting?”

“wE’vE pRaCtIcAlLy SpEnT oUR cHilDhOoD tOgEtHEr wHy NoT mAkE iT fOrEvEr” Earth said as he mocked his friend. “You’re whipped and it is disgusting”

Bright simply raised his middle finger at Earth.

A few minutes later, Win finally came down. “Hey sorry I took so long, I had to call Mix and remind him to pick us up. I hope you both don’t mind him coming with us”

Earth laughed at his friend who was just staring at Win and cheekily said, “It’s fine Win. Bright and I just talked. Um, certain revelations were made”

Win was confused. “What revelations?”

Earth grinned tauntingly at Bright. Bright elbowed his friend and smiled at Win “Military stuff.”

“Oh I see” Win nodded

“Also, the matter about Mix coming with us um it's fine Buns. The more the merrier”

Win smiled and Bright swore the entire room just lit up. “Great! Shall we then? Mix is waiting for us by the Ice cream shop and I have a lot of places to show you two today”

It had indeed been a long day, Win did bring the gang to alot of places- most of which were places that he and Bright frequented as kids while some were the new hotspots that people visit. First stop was, ofcourse, the ice cream shop where they met up with Mix.

Mall, arcade, meadow, Win’s home. That was the itinerary for the day. Bright admits he hasn’t been that happy in a long time. He figures he should cherish those last few moments Win has to offer before they go their separate ways- him serving in the military and Win pursuing his dream of being a doctor.

It happened in the meadow. Win had prepared a picnic scene for them. It reminded Bright of the time they were kids. His memories were fuzzy so he couldn’t remember the specific details- he did, however, remember feeling the soft touch of Win’s childish lips pressed on his equally childish hands. The memory has been made blurry with time but the feeling still persists. Bright still feels it everytime he sees Win flash that shining smile of his, everytime Win pouts in annoyance, everytime time Win clings to him, and most of all, every time they are alone together.

It’s that small bubbling feeling of warmth that slowly swallows his body whole and leaves him completely defenseless to the storm that is Win. He thinks it’s addicting. Bright smiles to himself and shakes his head, I got it bad.

Night came and Win ushered everyone home. He had already planned the day with Mix and his mom, so far it was a great success. The only thing left was the little intimate party he managed to set up. His plan was to let Bright and Earth go ahead to Bright’s old home and freshen up while Win and Mix would do the final touches for the surprise.

“Win, are the cupcakes ready?”

“Yeah I'm just transferring them to a tray and then I'll set them up on the table.”

“Okay cool, your mom texted me and said she’d be home in a few.”

“Oh great! We’re almost done here anyway”

Not a few minutes later, Win’s mom did arrive and helped them with the preparations. “Win, go upstairs and change- Mix and I can handle everything down here”  
Win nodded and did as told. A while later he went down, donning a yellow graphic tee with whitewashed jeans along with large gold rimmed glasses giving him that soft boyish look. He looked at the clock and figured it would be time to call Bright and begin the surprise.

A couple of minutes later Bright arrived, blindfolded by Mix who was waiting for them to arrive. “Mix what’s going on? If this is another one of Win’s pranks, I swear-“

His ramblings were cut off when Mix suddenly removed the blindfold and what greeted him was Win sitting in front of the piano. “Hey Sol, I know you’re leaving tomorrow so here’s one last parting gift before you go.”

Win took a deep breath and put all his focus on the instrument in front of him. With one last glance and a smile to Bright, Win finally pressed the keys.

It was a soft slow tune, one that was familiar to Bright. He remembers hearing it on rainy days when his father was home, tucking both him and Win to bed. Tears started to fill Bright’s eyes as he heard the first lines of the song he had memorized since childhood,

_Let me sing a lullaby_

_As you close your eyes_

_And as you're drifting off to sleep_

_How I hope that the dreams that you find_

_Are bright-_

Bright closed his eyes as he let himself be washed away by the sweet tune of Win’s voice and memories of their youth. _Flash_ Bright’s dad telling him to always be brave. _Flash_ Him and Win running around the meadow on that one summer day. _Flash_ The death of Bright’s dad and Win being by side as he let grief swallow him whole. _Flash_ Win’s smile. _Flash_ Win’s laugh. _Flash_ Win who was always there for him. _Flash_ Win whom he loves so much. _Flash_ Win.

_Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies?_

_Where a tomorrow waits for you and I_

_So hold me tight one more time, but don't kiss me goodbye_

_Cause I know that I'll see you on the other side_

Win had always convinced Bright to give up his dreams of serving the military but he was headstrong in his decision. How could he give up no? What would his dad think? What about his promise? Their promise?

Questions plagued Bright’s mind like an unreachable itch, the same questions that showed its ugly head as he was alone in the shower. He hates it. He hates it. He hates it.

Win. Win was there. Win understood. He said he’ll wait for me. I love him. And although they had never defined their relationship, were they bestfriends? Something more? It didn’t matter, what matters was what they had. It was something special and that was enough for Bright.

_I will think of our song when the nights are too long_

_I'll dream of you for that's where I belong_

_Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies_

_Only, in my dreams, do we meet again_

Bright opened his eyes as he heard the last lingering notes slowly fade to silence. The moment his eyes opened, they were immediately glued to Win. To his surprise, Win was looking at him too. The same gentle smile, the same crescent eyes. Bright couldn’t help it, he fell harder.

“See you soon, Sol. I love you”

“I love you too Buns”

“Return safely, my brave soldier”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the link to what Win sang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQj1YBlFQm0
> 
> Give it a listen! Also, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated <3


	2. Borrowed Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did not know how he survived. All he knew was that he was living on borrowed time.

3 years. 

It's been three years since Bright left for the military. 3 years since they exchanged those 3 words. In those 3 years, Win feels as if he has achieved much in life. Not only did he finally become a doctor but he also had the chance of seeing people he treated recover from their wounds and illnesses. That, in itself, brought immeasurable happiness to him. 

Three years and yet Bright has never left his mind. The childhood friend turned into whatever they are since the last time they saw each other. Bright, with his annoying nicknames and infuriating smiles. Bright, whom he made a promise with. Bright, whose dreams of being a soldier were finally coming into fruition. Bright. 

Fear and trepidation never left Win. He constantly thinks about Bright’s safety. Tensions with the neighboring country were at an all-time high and just a few weeks ago, CNN reported that the probing attacks and skirmishes were getting more and more commonplace. Win could only hope that his beloved is safe from harm. He has to be. 

Win’s thoughts were cut short when he heard the all too familiar blaring siren of an ambulance. Even after all this time, the loud sound of the siren never ceased to surprise Win. There was just something about it that made his skin crawl. Mix, Win’s friend, told him that the sound seemed to be eerily similar to Death’s call. That the sound more often than not, brings forth patients that are on their last breath and yet still struggle to live. Win thinks it’s their job as doctors assigned to the ER to help these patients avoid death. 

“What happened”, Win asked the nurses as he put on the surgical gloves.

“Car crash, broken ribs and a possible ruptured artery seeing the amount of blood”

“Let's do this”

——————————

Hours later, Win and his associates finally finished the surgery without compromising the life of the patient. The whole procedure was extremely taxing on Win, he felt as if he could sleep for days. Slumping into his chair, Win wanted to take a power nap before his shift ends but the plan was interrupted when his phone suddenly rang. It was Mix.

Win almost forgot, he made plans with Mix. It had been a few weeks since the pair of best friends last saw each other, their schedules were too busy and hectic to afford the luxury of leisure. Amazingly enough, only later in the evening will they both be free to catch up. He admits that he misses Mix. Adult life wasn’t really kind to the both of them as they were packed with responsibilities and duties that warrant their full attention. Win also misses the moments he shared with his friend. The little hangouts where they just talk and eat their day away or just revel in the presence of each other. Luckily, Win and Mix would finally be able to recreate their little hangouts later in the day.

“Hey Win, don’t forget our plans later”

“Of course, how could I miss it? We rarely have enough time to talk let alone unwind and relax in each others company- I wouldn’t miss it for the world”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Even if Bright comes home tomorrow?”

“Well…”

“You have your favorites and it shows”

“Whatever Mix, I know you love me”

“Yeah, sure whatever.”

“I love you too, Mix hehe. Don’t forget to bring snacks later!”

“Of course, can’t have you going hungry now can we?”

——————————

It was dark inside the room, the only source of light were dim LED lights and the tv playing in front of them. Win and Mix were bundled up in blankets as the cold air from the air conditioner was on full blast. Between them lay the snacks Mix brought for the both of them, half-empty bottles of coke and unopened chips could be found within the mess. 

Comfortable silence suffused the entire room and Win was content with that. Words weren’t required anyway. All that matters is the company they found in each other. It was enough.

The silence was also conducive to Win’s thoughts. He let his mind wander to anything he could think of. His mother, his job, his life, and Bright, his Bright. Win found it weird, how even after all this time, his wandering mind still constantly goes back to Bright. Win suddenly found himself missing the bright-eyed boy more than ever. 

“Hey Mix?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember that night?”

Mix adjusted his seating position and turned to face Win. To his surprise, Win had this distant look in his eyes. 

“The night he left?”

“Yeah”, Win answered and curled his knees closer to his body while hugging them.

“What about it?”

“Do you think he understood me when I said I love him? I mean, we always exchange I love you’s but those were purely platonic. That one time was different.”

“I have no idea, I’m not Bright nor am I physic. I don’t know really”

“Hmm”

One beat of silence. Two. Three. It seemed like forever before Win finally found his words.

“Mix?”

“Yeah?” 

“I’m scared. So scared. What if I never see him again? I can’t bear to lose him, Mix, I just can’t.”

Mix’s heart broke at the rare vulnerability the other was showing. He could do nothing but sigh and inch closer to Win who was on the verge of tears. Sometimes, words can do nothing to ease the pain- the best one could offer was companionship and empathy; and that was exactly what he gave.

“He will come home safe, Win. He has to.” Mix all but murmured, he doubts Win heard it and that was okay. Win didn’t need words. Mix only had to offer his presence, nothing more nothing less.

The two stayed in each other's embrace for the rest of the night. One was consumed with worry while the other was offering comfort. It was once again silent but it was good. Silence was good.

——————————

2 months

Win only had to wait for two more months before he saw Bright again. Win was ecstatic when he heard the news. Win envisioned their reunion to be nothing short of a joyous occasion but reality is often disappointing, is it not?

On the day Bright came home, Win was bursting with excitement. He had planned to surprise Bright in his old home. He swears he could already see Bright’s shining eyes and huge smile. What met him was the opposite. 

The Bright that now stood before him was vastly different from the one in his memories. This version of Bright seemed smaller like he lost weight. Hair cut short. Most noticeable of all was the way the sparkle that was always present in Bright’s eyes seemed to disappear without a trace. What replaced them was a deep penetrating gaze. One that is often seen in those that have seen everything the world as to offer and failed to see the beauty in them. 

Bright’s crescent lips were pulled into a tight line. The entire aura he was giving off was strict and rigid. Walls seemingly high up, afraid of being hurt by the horrors of the world- or just, wary of what’s to come and what already happened.

“Bright”

“Win”

Win rushed to hug Bright. This time, the hug they shared wasn’t magical or time stopping. There were no rapid revelations. No electricity between them. It was just a hug. A pure raw embrace shared by two people of intertwining paths. No words were spoken. 

The two stayed engulfed in each other’s arms for a long while. Time didn’t stop for them like what the movies said- the birds still sang their song, and the cars still passed by without a care. To them, it didn’t matter. Bright was back in Win’s arms. It was good. It was enough.

“How long will you stay?”

“I don’t know”

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“Welcome Home”

Bright couldn’t help it. Tears filled his eyes as he felt and savored the warmth Win has to offer. He was home. It was safe. 

“Yeah, I’m home.”

——————————

A week.

It took a week before Bright was back to his usual jovial self. Win wanted to ask Bright about the thoughts weighing his mind but decided against it. Win valued privacy and he knew Bright would only share when he is ready. Instead, Win tried his best to be there for Bright. He brought him to their usual spot in the ice cream shop down the road and also arranged several trips to the meadow. Everything was calm.

It was afternoon when the two just decided to pass time in Win’s room. Two cups of ice cream- one vanilla and one choc-mint lay on top of the side table. Bright was gently strumming the guitar while Win just lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The song Bright was strumming was an unfamiliar one, highs and lows continuously pouring from the meager instrument in waves. It reminded Win of the changing seasons. 

“Hey Bright?”

“Hmm?”

“Where’s Earth?”

The sudden change was immediately apparent. Bright stopped strumming the guitar. The pause was abrupt and sudden, causing Win to look at Bright. What met his sight caused his heart to break. 

Bright was staring into space, eyes tearing up as if lost in a memory. His strong steady hands were shaking. Bright looked like a man trying too hard to be brave but desperately failing. 

Win wasn’t stupid, he knew something was up the moment they reunited. He just felt like it wasn’t his place to ask. He didn’t want to force Bright into sharing, especially when the events were traumatizing. Win slowly approached Bright. 

“Bright?”

Bright didn’t reply. Eyes still far away and lost as if seeing something Win could not even begin to imagine. 

“Want to talk about it?”

Still no reply. Bright’s lack of reply didn’t faze Win. Instead, he squatted right beside the brooding boy and held his hand. 

“I’m here for you”, Win said as he squeezed Bright’s hand. Bright nodded in acknowledgment. 

Win smiled at the gesture. 

“Hey”

“Hmm?”, Bright turned his attention to Win and saw a familiar scene. Win with his brilliant smile. Bright was once again captivated. _Home. This is Home_ , Bright thought. 

“What are you staring at? Come on!”, Win said as he tapped his lap. 

Bright obliged with what Win was suggesting. He lay his head on Win’s lap and covered his eyes with his arms. 

Win smiled. It reminded them of their teenage years- just killing time in the meadow and watching the birds fly by. It was a perfect replica of that moment. Just a different time, a different place. 

Win intertwined his hands with Bright’s hair, slowly massaging the other’s scalp. It was good. They were good. 

“Bright?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you're home.”

“Me too.”

Win smiled at the familiarity and comfort the two of them were wrapped in. He remembers the time when he was asked what love meant for him. _“I don't know, Mix. Maybe love is just a constant presence- one that gives you familiarity and comfort.”_

Looking back, maybe Win was just unconsciously describing his relationship with Bright. Win hopes they could just stay like this forever- with Bright laying on his lap breathing gently. 

“Bright?”

No reply. Win thinks Bright fell asleep. Win took a deep breath.

“I love you, so much.”

——————————

Bright tossed and turned in his bed. His mind plagued with memories better off forgotten. He dreamt of screams and gunshots, of smoky rooms and pleas for help. He dreamt of his friend, Earth, bleeding out and yelling at him to run. Bright sees the faces of his fellow soldiers, contorted in fear and anger. He hears the sound of their superior screaming at them to retreat and regroup, but he stands there frozen. On his feet were mangled hands, burnt beyond recognition. 

The hands kept him from moving. Bright’s line of sight traced the origin of the hands, his heart beating so loud it seemed like it was the only sound that was present. As soon as Bright’s eyes landed on the head of the disfigured man, he was shocked to see a familiar face. It was Win.

Bright was jolted awake when he saw Win’s face. His hands were shaking so badly and his ears were ringing. The silence of the room did nothing ease the mess in his mind. Silence never felt so loud before.

One minute passed. Two. Three. Time seemed to stretch as the walls were closing in on him. His breaths are getting more and more sparse. _It’s happening again, _Bright thought. A panic attack.__

Bright clutched his chest, heaving for air. Tears filled his eyes as his ears rang. _Inhale. Hold. Exhale._ Bright repeated the breathing exercises. Once. Twice. _Deep Breaths._

____

____

Eventually, his breathing evened out and he can now hold the phone without dropping it. Bright’s first instinct was to call Win but he looked at the clock and saw that it was 3:00 AM. Win was probably asleep. He was surprised to see his phone ring and even more surprised to see who the caller was. It was Win, _his_ Win. 

__“Bright” “Win”_ _

__“You go first Buns” “You go first Bright”_ _

__Bright managed to let out a dry laugh. In a way, the short experience they just shared was cathartic for the boy. It assured him that Win was there, and always will be._ _

__“It’s late Win. Why are you still awake?”_ _

__“I couldn’t sleep. I don’t know, something was bugging my mind”_ _

__“Oh”_ _

__“And um, I was thinking, wanna go out?”_ _

__“Go out? Where? Win, it’s 3:00 AM”_ _

__“I know. Just to the neighborhood playground.”_ _

__“The one where you tripped and cried your eyes out”_ _

__“Bright.”_ _

__“Yeah, whatever Buns. Give me five minutes.”_ _

__“Great! See you, Sol!”_ _

__

__——————————_ _

__

__Bright arrived at the playground and found Win sitting on the swings. It was a familiar sight. One that littered his memories, Win always liked to stay in the playground. Somehow it became their own little world since there were little children who wanted to play in an old dilapidated playground. On chilly afternoons, after Bright and Win’s last class ended, Win never failed to drag Bright to the playground. Good times, Bright thought._ _

__Win, who was busy playing with feet, drawing imaginary figures on the ground, never noticed Bright’s arrival. He only lifted his head when he heard the squeak of the swing beside him, a sign that someone sat on it. Win turned his head only to find Bright giving him a small tight smile. Bright’s eyes were still red and slightly puffy, a detail Win didn’t miss._ _

__“So,”_ _

__“Yeah?”_ _

__“Do you want to talk about it?”_ _

__“Talk about what?”_ _

__“You. The past 3 years.”_ _

__“Oh”_ _

__“Yeah”_ _

__“Not really, no”_ _

__“Oh”_ _

__The two lapsed into a comfortable silence. Bright didn’t want to share and Win didn’t want to push. It was fine. They were good. No words were spoken between the two. Each of their presence offers more comfort than meager words could._ _

__Win observed the features of Bright’s face. It was vastly different but somehow still the same as when they were kids. Harsh contours replaced baby fat that were once on his cheeks. Darker skin that shone gold when hit with the 5 PM Sun. Still the same lips with the same eyes. Win can’t help but think that the current Bright is manlier, more mature, and knowledgeable in the ways of the world._ _

__He wonders of the events that happened that caused Bright to seem to age quickly. He wonders of the horrors the once shiny-eyed boy has seen. It wouldn’t be long before his questions would be answered._ _

__“It was in my second year of service-”_ _

__Win turned his head and saw Bright still looking down. It struck Win that he has never seen Bright look so vulnerable before, it was a heartbreaking sight. Win muttered a small sound of assurance, a sign for Bright to go on and proof that he was listening._ _

__

__——————————_ _

__

__Bright was in his second of service and he was tasked with an escort mission, along with five other soldiers. The excruciating heat seemed like poison to the skin and mind. Bright didn’t understand why they needed 5 soldiers for the job, but he didn’t question it. Instead, his mind wandered to a certain buck-toothed milky skinned boy. It has been doing that a lot lately._ _

__“Bright, here. Have some water”_ _

__Bright looked up and saw Earth, his friend, looming over him as he handed Bright a still cold bottle of water. It was only a stroke of luck that Earth and Bright were assigned to the same squadron. He remembers feeling ecstatic at the thought of Earth being in the same team as him, at least he has a familiar face to talk to._ _

__Gunsmile, their leader, was busy driving the vehicle. First, Mike, and Film, the last three soldiers that made up their team, were at the far corner. It was amazing really, a small military caravan was what HQ provided them to escort this seemingly important figure. Bright found himself looking at the three soldiers just playing cards while the man they were supposed to be protecting was sound asleep._ _

__The three were laughing and jeering at Mike who just lost a round of cards. It seemed, to Bright, that the three were too carefree. He chalks it up to them being new recruits._ _

__Throughout the time the seven people in the vehicle stayed together, Bright gradually warmed up to his fellow soldiers. He found himself smiling at Mike’s terrible jokes and teasing First for his childlike face. Bright thinks he could get used to it._ _

__Bright would not have time to get used to their presence because everything went to hell, soon after._ _

It as a usual scene, with Gunsmile driving and the three new recruits, laughing and cajoling at something incomprehensible to Bright. Earth was by Bright’s side, taking a nap. It was peaceful. _Too_ peaceful. 

__All Bright heard was a silent whistle, and then, chaos. The caravan Gunsmile was driving flipped over, the people inside disoriented and confused. It took a split second for the recent events to register into Bright’s mind, an ambush._ _

__It was a blur to Bright. His memories fading out in an attempt to salvage what was left of his feeble mind. He remembers hearing Gunsmile scream an order to retreat before falling to the ground, hole in his right temple and face still contorted in fear and urgency. He remembers being frozen in place as he looks at Mike lying on the ground, his legs crushed under debris of what once was their vehicle- begging at Bright to save him. He remembers his friend, Earth, with a gaping wound on his abdomen, screaming at Bright to move and run. He remembers the screams of First and Film, the people closest to Mike, as they were forced to leave their friend behind. Time was not a luxury they could afford._ _

__Everything else, Bright could not remember. He did not know how they got to safety. He did not know how he survived. All he knew was that he was living on borrowed time. All he knew was that the faces of Mike and Gunsmile would haunt him until his last breath._ _

__——————————_ _

__“-their faces still haunt me, Win. I could’ve saved Mike. I-”_ _

__Bright was not able to finish his sentence when he broke down in tears. Win, too, was in tears._ _

__How could he not be?_ _

__Win did nothing but take Bright into his embrace. His mind, filled with words to comfort the boy by his side._ _

_It wasn’t your fault._

_You had to do it._

_You had to live_

_I’m sorry._

__No words came out of Win’s mouth. No words could possibly soothe the anguish Bright was feeling, anyway. Win wrapped his arms around Bright. One second turned into two. Two into three. A minute stretched into an hour. Before any of them knew, it was sunrise._ _

__A new beginning dawned upon the two. It was quiet and peaceful. It was enough._ _

__——————————_ _

_Just In: Thailand has officially declared war on its neighboring country, Malaysia. Due to territorial disputes and disagreements, an all-out war is now happening. Keep safe citizens. Godspeed._

__When Bright heard the news, he knew he was going to be sent back into that hell hole._ _

__This time, he wasn’t sure if he was ever coming back._ _

__——————————_ _

__“The military’s medical personnel are severely lacking, they need experienced doctors to provide aid and medical assistance to soldiers while they fight for the country”_ _

__Win’s mind flashed to Bright’s curled figure, hand in his hair and tears in his eyes. He sees the boy with demons in his mind going in, head first, into hell. He remembers their promise,_ _

__

_"Hmm, being a soldier sounds like too much work Bright" Win complained while fiddling with his hands._

_"I would rather be helping people recover, you know? Like, Mom!"_

_At the mention of his mother, Win stood up and paced the room. "Yeah, Mom always said that when people get injured she would patch them up and they would recover in no time! Maybe I can do that! You could be a soldier and I would be a doctor! I will heal all your wounds while you keep me and the country safe. Isn't that a great idea Bright?"_

__

__Win took a deep breath and raised his hand._ _

__“I volunteer”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall like it! kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!


	3. finis.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death claimed yet another victim. Permanence never felt so unsettling before.

_“Hey Bright”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“What do you think you’ll do once we finish training and our service in the military?”_

_“I don’t know. Guess I never thought that far ahead”_

_“Well, you should. You can’t just spend your entire life wasting away in the military._

_“But-”_

_“Even if it’s your dream.”_

_“I’ll think about it, Pirapat”_

_“You know, you can’t fly if you never try”_

_“What? Is that supposed to help me decide or something?”_

_“Or something”_

——————————

Bright was sitting in a cold dark room. The only light source, an old lightbulb overhead. They were being briefed on the mission entrusted to them. Bright looked around and saw familiar faces, First and Film- both of which had a hard look on their faces. His gaze landed on a soldier with a huge build, muscled and tall. The soldier’s face obscured by the dim lighting and the cap he was wearing, Bright can’t help but think the soldier looked familiar.

“-nd that’s it for the briefing. Godspeed, soldiers” The speaker made the customary military and left the premises.

Bright still didn’t take his gaze off the peculiar soldier. 

A second later the soldier lifted his head, and their eyes met.

It was Earth.

——————————

The place was a mess. Groans and murmurs of pain filled the makeshift tent where Win and Mix sat. It came as a surprise to Win, how Mix had immediately raised his hand after he did- volunteering to go with Win. Win didn’t question Mix, he just nodded his head and stared at his friend who stared back. He hoped the message in his eyes came across, _Thank you._

____

__

Stream after stream of injured soldiers entered the area. Win’s heart was pounding and threatening to go out his chest as his eyes locked on eyes unfamiliar to him. He hoped to see Bright before, God-forbid, it was too late. He could only pray on Gods named and unnamed. 

——————————

_“The orphanage”_

_“What about it?”_

_“I want to help the rest of the kids there”_

_“Cool.”_

——————————

The trenches were unforgiving. Gunshots and bombs were not uncommon nor were the screams of pain and agony. Bright crouched down on one of the trenches, gun held tight in his hand. Beside him was Earth, his first friend, and constant companion in the military. The injury on Earth’s abdomen was causing complications, his body on the verge of giving up. 

The stream of pain flashed through Earth’s past wound, Bright heard the gunshots. First and Film were nearby both shaking, their hands tightly clutching the guns the had. They were once squadmates, they still are. The bonds made through loss and flame and gunshots stretch tight between the four. They knew they would die for each other. 

“Hey Pirapat”

Earth groaned, even turning his head was a struggle, “Yeah?”

“I think I know what to do after this”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“I think I want to settle down”

“With Win?”

“With Win.”

——————————

Win was busy tending an injured soldier when another burst through the flimsy doors. He kept his head down, focusing on the task in front of him. 

Mix, who just finished applying a splint on a soldier who broke her arm, looked up. He drew a quick breath. The face was both familiar and unfamiliar, harsh contours replaced the soft lines he knew. Eyes frantic and panicked, darting back and forth, as if an animal cornered. Mouth opened drawing harsh heavy breaths. It was Bright. With him as an unconscious Earth, along with two unfamiliar faces. 

He nudged Win, who just finished with the soldier he was preoccupied with. Win looked up and let out a loud gasp. 

“Bright!”

“Win!”

——————————

_“Hey Vachirawit, do you think we’ll live past our forties?”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_“Same.”_

_“Do you think you’ll outlive me?”_

_“I don’t know.”_

_“I think I’ll outlive you”_

_“Whatever you say, Pirapat”_  
——————————

Time, once again, did not stop for the both of them. Win did not have time to have an emotional reunion with Bright. Bright did not have time to converse with Win. 

Time was running out. 

“Help. Please” 

Those two words were the only words that came out of Bright’s mouth. 

Win did not think. He let his years of knowledge and expertise lead him and his hands. 

He guided the unconscious Earth towards the bed for an examination. He asked Bright and the other two soldiers who came along. 

“What happened?” 

“A grenade was thrown into the trench where we were at, Earth was the first to notice and covered for us”, a female soldier with round doe eyes said. 

“He had a previous wound, it probably opened during the first week in the trenches”, added a male soldier with a face that seemed too young for his age. 

Bright was silent, staring intently at the giver of his treasured necklace and the unconscious man who quickly wormed his way to being one of his closest confidants. He could only pray and hope for the best. 

Minutes later, another soldier drew their last breath. 

Death claimed yet another victim. Permanence never felt so unsettling before. 

——————————

_I’m sorry._

——————————

5 years. 

5 years since the war ended and they were awarded medals of bravery and recognition. Bright remembers standing on a glorified podium, looking at his fellow soldiers, the bright golden sphere heavy on his chest and mind. 

He wonders of the sacrifices and pain those faces have endured. Wonders of the horrors their eyes have seen, the blood and gore their skin came into contact with, the heartbreak they went through. Most of all, he wonders of the lives that were lost too soon and where their souls were. 

He made the customary military salute. He hopes the souls of those lost in the war rest easy. _Godspeed._

——————————

Bright couldn’t sleep. Nightmares plague his dreams. One of gunshots and bombs and screams. Of pleas for help and faces both familiar and unfamiliar. Bright turned, only to find Win’s part of the bed empty. 

2 years after the war, Bright and Win settled down. They lived in a small cozy loft apartment shared between the two of them and a dog. 

Bright heard the gentle sound of the piano, he figured it was Win. He rose out of bed and petted their dog, Charlotte, who lay asleep in her own little mattress. 

Bright found Win crouched in front of the meager instrument, fingers expertly flying around keys of black and white. Bright can’t help but think of Win’s hand that aided and healed a lot of soldiers during the war. It was steady and, for lack of better words, perfect. As if God himself sculpted Win’s fingers with deliberate care and attention. 

Win was playing a tune unfamiliar to Bright. A slow melancholic one, note after note flew off the piano intertwining with each other to make a complex and intricate melody. Bright observed that Win had his eyes closed. He admires the sheer beauty of the man in front of him. He feels lucky. So lucky. 

Bright’s reverie was broken when Win opened his mouth and the first few lyrics of a song came out his ethereal lips. 

_It was like a nightmare_

_And it's pain for me_

_Because nobody wants to die too fast_

_Remember the day of grief_

_Now it's strange for me_

_I could see your face_

_I could hear your voice_

Bright’s heart clenched. Flashes of memories went by his mind in a single second. Mike and Gunsmiles’ death. First and Film’s shaky hands as they held their guns tight. Earth. 

_Remember the day we met_

_And it's pain for me_

_Because nobody wants to die too fast_

_Remember the day we dreamt_

_Now it's pain for me_

_I could see your face_

_I could hear your voice_

Earth Pirapat. The gentle giant who wanted to help the orphanage he grew up in. The one who helped him realize his feelings for his childhood friend. The one who offered him a bottle of water in the scorching summer heat. The one who he became instant friends when they stumbled upon each on the entrance of the military training camp. The one who said he would outlive him. 

_Can't look back_

_They will not come back_

_Don't be afraid_

_It's time after time_

_So, once again I'm hiding in my room_

_The peaceful times are what make us blind_

_"See you can't fly if you never try"_

_You told me, oh long ago_

_But you left the wall outside the gate_

_And more than ever, it's real_

Bright slowly felt tears stream down his face. He couldn’t help it. 

_Sing for the reluctant heroes_

_Oh give me your strength_

_Your lives are too short_

_Sing for the reluctant heroes_

_I wanna be brave like you_

He remembers Earth’s always gentle and reassuring smile. More tears fell on his face. He remembers the flash of light and Earth pinning them to the ground. He remembers the scream of pain. He remembers the panic and the frenzy.

He remembers the moment of death.

He swears he almost saw Earth flash a small imperceptible smile, he blinked and the images were gone. Leaving only heartache and loss. The years have not dulled the pain, he has only learned to live with it. 

_Remember the day of grief_

_No it's strange for me_

_I could see your face_

_I could hear your voice_

_Remember the day we met_

_And it's pain for me_

_Because nobody wants to die too fast_

_Remember the day we dreamt_

_Now it's pain for me_

_I could see your face_

_I could hear your voice_

Win finished the piece. Tears streaming down his face too. As short as his interaction with Earth was, it was enough to know how good the man was. He turned and saw Bright. 

Win managed a smile and asked Bright,

“Did you have nightmares too?”

Bright only nodded and inches closer to Win. He held Win’s hand. They stayed like that for the rest of the night. It was good. It was enough. 

——————————

“Sister! Sister! There’s a letter for you!”

“Put it on my table, Child. I’ll read it later”

“Okay!”

The child ran out, his little feet pitter-pattering on the hardwood floor. 

The nun, calm and composed, made her towards the desk. She sat down and opened the letter. 

A gasp escaped her. 

It was cheque worth at least thousands of dollars. Signed by some Vachirawit and Metawin. 

——————————

It was spring. A new beginning for the flora and fauna. The spring wind blew and ruffled the hair of a man. His face, firm, and slightly obscured by the light.

He bent down and lay flowers, white and pure, on a grave, his mouth muttering words heard only by himself and the skeletal remains that lay 6 feet under the ground. _Rest easy._

He stood and made his way towards a car where another man was waiting. Fair skin, doe eyed, and plump lips. The other man smiled and reached out his hand. 

He held the outstretched hand. They both smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated <3


End file.
